5 things I would tell my pre-motherhood self
2 min readDec 3, 2020
- Do the thing.
Stop asking other people for their opinion. There is so much life ahead of you. Children and family are in your future and you’ve always known that. That means commitment and not always having the freedom to do what you want will become part of your reality. It’s ok to break rules. There’s not always a need to justify or reason your desires. Be safe, and nourish your soul. - Don’t do the thing.
You have always felt the pressure to fit in, especially since you grew up in a small town. There wasn’t a whole lot of room to be different. Break out of that perspective and create a new way. The person you are now is the person you will be for your kids and husband, too. I know you keep telling yourself that you’ll “have it all together” by the time you have children, but that’s rarely how it works out. As a parent, you won’t be perfect and your son or daughter will learn that it’s ok to embrace their personality. So, start now. Lean in to what you want. Don’t follow the crowd and do what the people around you are doing. Define what makes sense for your life. - Ask your best friend to hang out not that guy you’re seeing.
Guys really do come and go. You’ve always been really great at being intuitively aware, but you don’t always act on that. Start thinking more long term. Your girls will be there when you are a parent. You will need a friend or friend circle when things get tough. It might be fun to hang out and live through the comfort of feeling good in the moment. Although, this feeling is fleeting and not sustaining. You long for the feeling of strength and empowerment. Long term satisfaction is where to keep your eye. The ratio of friend to guy time should be a glaring 3:1. If not, then more. - Spend time on your writing.
You’ll come to realize that this hobby is one of the things that stays through all of the bs. Your emotions will cause your loved ones to ebb and flow, but your journal remains the one constant that replenishes you. Over time, and through university ups and downs, the realization that you aren’t fit for an office job or a regular 9–5 will be daunting. A hobby that recharges you when negative energies leave you feeling overwhelmed is necessary for good health. - It’s ok to not know the future.
This is one you need to sit with and repeat. This sentence has kept you from making decisions. The feeling of the unknown is something to befriend. It is there to teach us, challenge us, keep us warm. We will never know the future. That’s ok. That’s how it’s supposed to be. Allow yourself to be comfortable with not being able to control what is to come. Put your best foot forward, take a risk or two, and trust the process.
